Did he say it or not?

There’s nothing wrong with an f-bomb or a good ol’ fashioned finger in the face. But to hide those angry feelings into a secret message isn’t just passive, it’s weak.

The Governator would have been better off saving himself time and tax-payer dollars replacing the final “Sincerely” with what he really wanted to say instead.

It’s a lesson in communication, copywriting and marketing as much as it is about etiquette and politics: just say what you mean to say.

(via SFGate.com)

Touch Wood goes limp on copywriting

Just another example of how a little foreplaythought into your copywriting can go a long way in avoiding embarrassment.

Touch Wood is a new smartphone case produced by Japanese manufacturer Docomo. Yes, it’s way cooler than plastic and sure beats rubber (sorry, couldn’t resist) but the name is obviously a blunder.

Copywriting is often an afterthought in the product development process, but Touch Wood is a clear example of why it needs to be given greater priority and authority. I can’t imagine the Docomo executives were intentional about turning their product into a bad pun. However, I can imagine the conversation in the board room at the time:

Dude #1: We need a name that resonates with consumers.
Dude #2: How about something that ties it into the biggest selling accessory?
Dude #1: Like What?
Dude #2: Like the iPhone or iPod Touch.
Dude #3: You mean, like iWood?
Dude #1: No, that’s just to0 obvious.
Dude #2: How about My Wood?
Dude #1 and #3: That’s it! Group high-five!

Before moving forward with the copywriting process, it’s important to consider something more important than being tied to what’s hip at the moment. If your product is unique (which it really is in this case), having a unique identity with a unique story to tell with it is the biggest favor you can do for yourself.

Otherwise, you open yourself up to being just another bad penis joke. Or bad dick page.

[Docomo via Gizmodo]

Coming soon

The two worst and inexcusable words on the web.

Whenever I see click through to a webpage that alerts me that more information is “Coming soon,” I immediately expect that it isn’t. After all, the reason the content isn’t there is either because the person responsible to writing doesn’t have the time to get to it or she doesn’t exist.

“Coming soon” doesn’t fool anyone anymore. The immediacy of information on the web has taught us that if the information was even the slightest bit important, someone would have found a way to post it. In other words, it’s not a technology issue, it’s a personnel issue.

My advice is to never, in a million years, go live with a webpage or website without the content to fill it in.

If you really feel the need to do it, however, please at least use one of these suggestions:

• Point to an additional resource. Your visitor likely clicked onto this page to get and answer to a question or curiosity. If you aren’t able to answer them now, point them to somewhere that can.
• Include contact information. Nothing is more discouraging for a visitor than clicking through to nothing. Avoid them feeling abandoned by offering an easy way for them to get in touch with you, whether it’s be email of phone. And if it is one of those methods, make sure it’s to an inbox you check and a number you actually answer personally.
• Be friendly. Maybe it’s just me, but “More information coming soon” doesn’t exactly give off the warm fuzzies. Write something that acknowledges the lack of information and authentically connects with the visitor.
• Include a date. If content isn’t available now, let your visitors know exactly when it will be. You’re lucky to be getting web traffic at all, so tell your visitors when they can expect the information they’re looking for if you ever want them to come back. Believe me, they’re not sitting at their computers holding their breath for you to post something new.

Generally, you only get one chance to make a connection with a pair of eyes on the web. If you’ve got nothing to show them, at least make the most of it.

Masking the truth

How do you know the economy is bad? Look at the numbers, right?

The New York Times published a commentary yesterday about how part-time work masks the unemployment rate. When the Labor Department releases their figures, they employ an algorithim that looks only at people who not working but are looking for full-time work and not finding it.

How do they know if you’re not working but are look to work? If you’re collecting unemployment benefits, which requires you to provide proof that you’ve applied for work over the past four weeks.

The unemployment rate moves ecnomic mountains, including the stock market, interest rates, consumer spending and consumer confidence. People look to it for the story of what’s happening in the economy.

But it’s not the whole story, which the Times points out. And while they point directly at the effect part-time work has on the unemployment rate, I still think there’s more to the story. Like homelessness. Like people who have given up hope on searching for a job. Like people who have gone back to school instead of braving the storm.

You can see how quickly an “official” 9.5% figure can turn into 20%. The economic recession is deeper than the story the numbers tell and whether the Labor Department intends to or not, it masks the reality of what is happening.

The same can be true in business. Seth Godin recently posted about his experience with a toothache that a pain reliever failed to mention it’s inability to cure his pain on its label.

Masking the truth is not blatantly lying about something, but it does nothing to build any sort of trust. If you’re looking to tell a story, be sure it’s the full story told simply, clearly and truthfully. Like Woot.

Say what you mean to say

I’ve noticed that the people around me haven’t been speaking in absolutes lately. Here are a few snippets I’ve picked out of conversations from the last couple of days:

• “Maybe we should do it like this…”
• “Another idea could be…”
• “You may want to try another possible way…”
• “Just a thought, but what if…”

I’m not the authority when it comes to persuasiveness or charm, but I often prefer people to be direct when they have something to say.

Surrounding statements with words that have no direct impact are just fluff. They soften the argument and make you sound unsure of yourself.

This goes for business proposals, criticism, personal relationships, copywriting, meetings, presentations, or anything else that requires any sort of productive outcome.

Dick page

You may be the fifth largest cosmetics company in the world. You may be a “truly” international company with a presence in 65 different countries. You introduced Japan’s first toothpaste in 1888 and even quote Confucius on your website.

But you still have a “Dick Page” on your site.

Shiseido is a cosmetic company that boasts all of the above. They really are a successful multinational brand. Yet, for all its merits, it still remains to me the company that has a webpage dedicated to male genitals.

Only, it’s really for the company CEO, Dick Page.

It’s okay to be a personality-driven company. Steve Jobs, Michael Dell, Bill Gates and Howard Schultz really drive their brands and other CEO’s have done a bang-up job representing themselves on Twitter as well as their own blogs. Being personality-driven can help a brand create a feeling of warmth, familiarity and connection with customers which are all positives in my book.

But none of those names looks like male porn in a website menu.

Just something to consider when you want to put a face on your brand and create a stronger customer connection. The personality is important, but not nearly as important as creating an inviting web environment that functions properly. I mean, really, someone at Shiseido thought people would actually want to click on a link called Dick Page. I’m sure there is a small segment of web users out there that dig that sort of thing, but the rest of us would rather avoid the possible hot mess that lies behind that virtual curtain.

Start with the nuts and bolts, then paint on top.

Otherwise, you’re just left with nuts. Literally.

Say it like you hear it

The quickest way to beat a bad case of writer’s block is to put pen to paper—or finger to keyboard.

But where to start?

Lately, my strategy has been to start with the voice you’re most comfortable with. Forget your target audience and forget crafting the perfect sentence and say it like you hear it in your head.

For me, strangely, I hear most things like a whitebread gangster.

For example, when I want to say this:

Charbroiled to perfection, the new bacon cheesburger is piled high with a mouth-watering combination of pure Kobe beef and sourdough bread—for a price that won’t break the bank.

I start with this:

You know you want this burger, brotha. It’s stacked with will all kinds of crazy burger bling and won’t set you back a gold tooth or handful of Washingtons.

Like I said, whatever works for you. It’s just about getting your thoughts out and sometimes that takes a little bit of creative role-playing.

Setting expectations

There should be only two reasons a project gets handed back to you for revisions:

1. You did not meet the expectations that were assigned.
2. The expectations were not clearly assigned to you.

It doesn’t matter what you do for a living, there are no excuses for number one. If you have all the right instructions and if you have all the resources you need, there is little standing between you and hitting 100 percent.

But that’s only “if.”

If you don’t have the right instructions and if you are not given all the resources you need, there is a lot to overcome before you can hit a perfect score.

If the scope of your project changes mid-completion, if your client has a better idea after you’ve turned in your final draft, if the deadline gets pushed up way ahead of schedule, then you are in the safe zone of number two. None of those fall under number one and are not your fault. There’s very little you can control when it comes to circumstances like that.

How you handle the situation is a topic for a totally different blog post. The purpose of this post is to delineate responsbility and understand where the buck truly does stop for most projects that get mishandled.

The Difference Maker

I just finished eating one of the better hamburgers I’ve eaten in a while and it had nothing to do with the taste.

In fact, the burger was a 6 on a scale of 10.

What made the difference? The packaging. From the paper bag to the greasy wrapper, my hamburger was surrounded with brilliant bits of imaginative copy that interacted with me well before biting into the bun.

Now, I understand that words don’t change the flavor of mediocre meat. That’s not what I’m saying.

But they do change the experience. By the time I started eating, the brand had already established a connection with me that softened my expectations before going in for kill.

Was this a way to cover up a bad product? Perhaps. Should it be used that way? No way. But it is a clever tactic to make sure I am both buttered up before making that judgement and less likely to spread a bad word to my friends I’m the event I’m not totally sold on the taste.

This is no new secret. Apple creates an experience out of opening an iPhone the first time. Verizon did same with it’s Motorola Razr.

People also read the backs of cereal boxes everyday.

The question is where do you see an opportunity to inject more experience into what you’re selling? In an economy that is forcing the marketplace to compete heavily on price, what is the difference-maker in your product?

It could be the difference between a 6 and a 10 on a graded scale.